Why hip-hop?

I just finished reading a brilliant guide to writing by hippy Christian Anne Lamott called bird by bird. The premise of the book is that writing is not about being published or finishing a screenplay. Instead it’s about opening your soul to reveal unspeakable truths.

This insight is precisely why I wanted to write. I wanted to be open with myself, admit my struggles, allow others to connect with my struggles where they might, and not worry so much about the judgment of the majority that won’t connect. Since making this realization my appreciation for art and artists has grown tenfold.

There are certain truths that cannot be revealed through speech. There is something inherently beautiful about the metaphor in a beautifully depicted novel, a perfect moment captured via photograph, or through a simple but catchy beat. Of all forms of art that catchy beat might be my favorite.

I love music for its availability to everyone. Movies, art, and books tend to be on the high culture side, but music is much more of an equalizer across all corners of society.

Especially through pop culture, music has the ability to crack into the mainstream. Whereas the average person might not want to listen to a lecture about poverty in the developing world or read an article about how injust the world is, it’s a whole different story to listen to a song that speaks to those same injustices. Music can be an amazing vehicle to get people thinking about truth.

One of my favorites is the Somali-Canadian rapper/poet K’naan. You’ve probably heard of him from his 2010 World Cup promotional anthem “Wavin’ Flag.” But one of my other favorites is “ABCs”, a song that highlights the violence that comes from the helplessness of poverty. He describes his own music as “urgent music with a message.”

Breaking through rap stereotypes, his music shows everything that is still relevant about modern hip-hop. Similar to other hip-hop greats like Nas’ "If I Ruled the World" and 2pac’s "Changes", K'naan writes about the state of the world, specifically the struggles he saw growing up in war-torn Somalia.

His music, a mixture of American hip-hop and Ethiopian jazz, is so catchy that his message is unavoidable. It’s really a blessing that his message is one of thinking outside the small compartment of ourselves. Such a relief that there are still mainstream artists out there trying to tell a truth.

from ken

Are you trying to change your life? I'd love to hear about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com

Small Change

Much like Ken, I graduated from a small liberal arts college about 5 months ago and now I'm living in a new city with a new job and a completely new life. Also like Ken, this year is dedicated to changing my life, or at least putting it on a path that will make me feel happy and fulfilled. This post, which I am very grateful to be writing, is about remembering that big change happens a little at a time.

Coming out of college I was thinking big, as that's pretty much what we are all taught to do. I was thinking about all the big changes I could make in my life to really shuffle things up and dig deep into my soul and figure out who I really am and what I really believe and what makes me feel flow. So I moved to Houston, Texas, pretty much out of the blue, because I knew that was a big change for a Massachusetts kid. I accepted a job here teaching middle school to underprivileged youth, because I thought that's where I would learn most about myself. I had no friends in the area, I had no long term plans, and I was blinded by this idea of 'Big Change'. Recently I signed up for the Austin Marathon, another one of my Big Change ideas. Although I ran XC with Ken in high school, he'll be the first to tell you that I wasn't a runner. I played Ultimate Frisbee in college, and the main reason I signed up for the Austin Marathon was because I was excited to provide some structure to my daily life and also because as far as I was concerned, this was the year of Big Changes.

What I failed to realize throughout all of this (or perhaps what I chose to ignore) is that it is often the smallest change that can have the most lasting impact on our character. It is also the smaller changes that are most difficult to make in our daily lives. At the risk of sounding cliche, a little change can make a big difference, and I lost site of that. When I recently sat down to reflect on my first 100 days away from home, I realized that for the most part I was the same person I had been during my senior year of college. Despite all of these Big Changes, the essential fabric of my being was 100% the same. I had been so caught up in all the Big Changes in my life that I forgot to take advantage of all the daily opportunities I have to make small changes. Those are the most difficult resolutions to keep, like remembering to call your parents at least once a week just because it makes them happy to hear from you, or being nice to a colleague or peer that is ostracized by others, or remembering to take the high road when you are feeling petty or bitter towards someone else. Those are the real opportunities for Big Change in your life that can change your character for the better.

Just two nights ago I faced a predicament with a girl that I like, and to keep a long story short, it was exactly like a situation I faced a year ago with a different girl. I handled the situation extremely poorly the first time. I was petty, selfish and blinded by emotions. This time around, unfortunately, I still handled it poorly. I was still petty, still selfish, but at least I was conscious of the fact that I was being unreasonable. For me, that is a small step, and some may wonder why I wasn't more mature. But, at least I'm moving in the right direction and perhaps next time I am faced with a similar situation I can handle it in the ideal way. For now, however, I have to be content with small change. I figure eventually, it will all add up.

Guest Writer: Amulya Iyer

Are you trying to change your life? I'd love to hear about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com

New Writers

Since running the marathon and being "done with running" I've been trying to put my time into things other than exercise. One of those things has been writing, and it's been super frustrating! I feel like I'm struggling with serious writer's block.

Coincidentally, one of my best friends, Amulya Iyer, recently went to a workshop on blog writing and had been thinking about writing a blog. I asked him to write for my blog, and he agreed to write a post! I'm hoping this will provide a spark for my writing.

About three years ago, Amulya and I had an epic email chain, in which each successive email had to be longer than the last. The whole chain, consisting of random rants similar to this blog and spanning over 19 emails and 3 months, totaled nearly 70,000 words. That email chain was my greatest writing accomplishment, and I hope to one day be able to say that about this blog. I think this is a step in the right direction.

If anybody else is interested in writing for this blog, please email me! You can write about whatever you want.

from ken

Are you trying to change your life? I'd love to hear about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com

Portland Marathon 2010

At seven in the morning, it was pouring rain, frigidly cold, and pitch dark. I was just counting down the seconds until the race would start. I kept trying to cheer myself up, but between the rain, cold, darkness, and EVERYONE complaining about it, it was tough to keep a bright attitude. I think we were all thinking the same thing, “I should’ve ran the San Diego Marathon.” This race was going to suck.

Then just as the gun went off, I overheard the woman next to me exclaim, “DOES THE RAIN MAKE MY TITS LOOK BIG?” After that, I knew this was going to be a good day.

To preface this post, I was training semi-seriously in the beginning of the summer, doing consistent long runs up to 15 miles. But the past couple months I’ve probably been running less than 20 miles a week. If I was even going to finish this marathon, it was pretty much going to take a miracle.

Oh, and it turns out, running a big marathon, I’m guessing any with 10,000+ people, is really a big celebration for all the running you did to get there.

Coming from the Boston Marathon, I wasn’t expecting too much support, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much of the city came out to support the runners. There are bands and water stands filled with enthusiastic kids along the way. Some runners even dressed for the occasion, including a green tutu wearing fairy, complete with wings and wand. I’m assuming he lost a bet or something, but then again, Portland’s pretty weird, so you never know.

Miles 3 – 16 pretty much went on like this, I was enjoying the celebration, smiling and all. I felt smooth and comfortable, but I knew somewhere around 2 to 3 hours I was going to hit a wall.

Around mile 16, some bulky looking tough guy rolled up next to me clearly running faster than everyone else. I was still feeling pretty good at this point, so I lined up behind him and we must have split out some sub 7 minute miles. Sidenote: I feel like I was just doing long runs at that pace, but not running competitively makes you appreciate how fast that really feels.

He kept stopping for water at every station, so I used those seconds to catch my breath until we were chugging along again. I kept at it though, and eventually after one water station around mile 19 I dropped him, and I was feeling strong.

It was right around this point I knew the wall was inevitable, so I started slowing down at more water stations to grab the rip-off Gatorade and gummy bears. With all the sugar, my energy level was staying high, but right around mile 22 my quads slowly tightened more and more.

I figured, if I can’t stride normally I’ll just increase my stride rate! This sounded like a great idea at the time, but the awkwardness of my stride was probably somewhere between a goose and Jackson Cabo.

This worked for a while, until the 23 mile mark, right at the beginning of a downhill, when my left hammy cramped up with the kind of intensity that shoots you out of bed. Probably as a result of overcompensating for my tight quads. My running intuition told me this would pass, so I just massaged it out and walked around in circles for a few minutes before starting up again.

From there, I kept tightening up more, and slowed, and slowed, as all the people I had overconfidently blown past from miles 16 – 22 slowly came whipping past me on the decline back to downtown.

As everyone raced past me, I was trying to figure out if this sucked, if I felt helpless, or regretted my lack or training, but then I realized, I was at mile 24! There was really no way I wasn’t going to finish. It felt surreal, both easier and harder than I imagined.

Before I knew it, I could see the finish line. I kind of had this image of kicking past a ton of old guys here, but at this point my top speed was probably around 10 or 11 minute mile pace, so I was the one getting kicked on. I crossed the line at 3:35. And stopped. It felt like most milestone accomplishments do, great but not quite on par with what you imagined.

So am I done running forever? Well no, I signed up for a race next August called Hood to Coast, a 12 man relay race from the mountains (Mt. Hood) on the east side of Oregon, to the coast on the west side. But I am done letting running limit my freedom.

So, in the famous words of Caleb Roupp:
Friend: Ken, are you cooling down? (Ken plugs in headphones and prepares to nap)
Ken: Welp, I’m not running again till August.

from ken

Are you trying to change your life? I'd love to hear about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com

photo by kk+

Thank you, running

I’ve been running for longer than I can remember doing anything else in my life.

I ran cross country and track in college and high school. I was elected captain, not because I was good but because I cared. I spent one summer running 1000 miles, putting in week after week of 90 miles, just to prove to myself that if I was going to be a nothing at running, it wasn’t because I didn’t try. At one time in my life, I owned more track spikes than my girlfriend owned shoes. I once ran a hundred mile week, finishing with a Turkish soccer player who could barely speak English and had never ran more than four miles, but as we finished the seven mile run he was sprinting and yelling NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP.

But over the past few months, I’ve come to see running almost as a relic of the person I used to be.

After that 1000 mile summer, I had the best running season of my life. I ran over 90 seconds faster for 8k than I ever had, or would. That season I was a far greater athlete than I ever imagined I could be.

At the end of that season, I ended up being the alternate on our regionals squad. The alternate basically travels with the team and hangs out with them as everyone else broods over the race before them. It feels helpless because there’s nothing you can do to help the team, except through supporting your teammates.

It was at this point that I realized, this is the final lesson running has to teach me. I am not a star, nor even a player. My role in my life is to be the ultimate cheerleader. My life was supposed to be sacrificed for the people around me.

After that season, my running was never the same. I lost the heart for it, I still fought tooth and nail, but my soul didn’t bleed for it like it used to. Mostly I ran to support my friends and teammates, I wanted to see them succeed more than they could’ve ever imagined. And more, I wanted to support their lives and cherish their friendships.

In the cult classic running novel Once A Runner the protagonist refers to demons that haunt his running. I remember feeling these demons in my own life .

The demons would come on in those few minutes just before a race, when you’re waiting on the track, having stripped off your warmups, spikes on, the race before you coming to and end, and feeling like you have to pee for the fifth time in the last fifteen minutes. I remember telling my friend, if I ever stopped feeling like this, I would stop running.

I think, maybe, the demons in your life are where your heart is. And wherever your heart is, that’s where your life should be.

Well, the demons in my life don’t haunt my running anymore.

Tomorrow, I’m running the Portland Marathon. And I see it as my farewell to running. It’s the last running feat I want to check off before being prepared to leave it, maybe forever.

For those of you still running, I really really wish you the best of luck. It is truly amazing what it can teach you, and I hope you enjoy the ride.

And of course, to my old teammates, those of you from Kenyon and those from Needham, I hope to enjoy a leisurely run with you again some day. Or maybe just a leisurely beer. But the days of heart-breaking training, 12 k threshold workouts, 5 x 1200, conference races, those days are far gone. And man, it feels good.

from ken

Are you trying to change your life? I'd love to hear about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com

photo by boliston

Building community with dinner and the Gospel of John

So this Tuesday I’m going to start hosting a weekly small group at my apartment to study the Gospel of John with some of my friends from church. I’m not exactly sure what I want to do with the group, but I know I want the main theme to be having a safe and open space to build up relationships. So I thought I’d post the flier I handed out to advertise the group:

In the beginning, there was God. And his friends. And they talked about God. And their lives.

That’s what I want this home community to look like, making friends and talking about God.

I have only been a Christian for about two years. I don’t know the difference between a Presbyterian and a Church of Christ-er, what the rules about baptisms are, or what exactly traditional church doctrine says about women. And I don’t really care that much about those things. I do, however, care about what God is doing in your life.

I love the Gospel of John because he gets in your face, tells you about God, and asks you what you’re going to do about it. That’s what I loved when I started learning about Christianity, it’s all about living on purpose, for God. If you are interested in this group, be prepared to think about these questions:

What is God calling you to do with your life?
How can you pay attention to God?
Where is love in your life?

"I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange."

from ken

Are you trying to change your life? I'd love to hear about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com

photo by hapal