Recently, I’ve struggled a ton with writing. I haven’t been happy with anything I’ve written nor have I had any fun ideas. Pretty much, I feel like a complete failure. I figured this would be a good time to reassess why I wanted to write in the first place.
Brené Brown speaks about the human need to live with authenticity and belonging. She emphasizes how people have to allow their true selves to be seen, and through that vulnerability, authentic connections can be established. Further, she suggests courage as a key component, and defines courage as the ability to tell our stories with our whole heart.
That’s really why I wanted to write. I know writing is the best way I communicate. I wanted to get at what my story was. I wanted to let others relate to my struggles. Really, I just wanted to keep it real.
So, I’m going to write about my biggest struggle right now. It’s one that has haunted me for years.
I recently read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, a Latin American fable about following your personal calling. It was a heart-warming and inspiring story, but it made me think... What is my dream? What does a dream even look like? In the midst of the typical post-college fog, my question is really: What am I doing with my life?
That's right, at the age of 22 I have already attained mid-life crisis status.
I’m currently in the process of getting ready to apply to med school, and I have no idea what sort of role I want to play in medicine. Well, the problem is more like: I have somewhere between one to two bazillion ideas of what I think my role should be.
Sometimes I love science and get caught up writing about the role of acid resistance systems in enteric bacteria. This makes me feel like I would love to pursue a research-oriented career, thinking and chatting about science all day. Of course, this also makes me feel guilty. Don’t I have a social obligation to help the poor?
Then, I see such a dire need to engage with people that I would love to be a primary care physician. I feel like that job is fundamentally to care about people and walk people through health-related fears. It also really puts you on the frontlines of medicine and social justice outreach. Although, do I really have the patience to put up with people all day?
Other times I’m inspired by global health heroes like Paul Farmer, and I’d love to be an ER physician working in disaster-response in the developing world. But… I do love the city life.
Other times yet, I want to work in leadership and policy development, and fundamentally change the way medical students are selected. Really make wide-scale change! … or would I just get buried in paper work and bureaucratic meetings?
I’d like to have a life that encompasses the best of all these worlds. Somehow combining writing, social justice, science, and leadership. … I guess that is my dream! And I suppose I need to just keep living a life that cultivates each of those things. How to do that is an entirely new question… Progress!
from ken
Are you thinking about something? Write about it and post it here! Email me! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment