Why Wyoming is my favorite state

Wyoming is my favorite state, and not only because my wife and family are from there.  It’s also a place where I spent a once in a lifetime summer.  I realized I’ve referenced Wyoming, and that experience several times, but I’ve never written at length about it.  So I thought I’d put together a short series of pieces about it.  It’s a 5 part piece describing:

1) why I chose Wyoming

2) the running I did there

3) climbing Middle Teton

4) my work friends at the restaurant

5) my conclusions

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Why Wyoming is my favorite state pt. 1: Why I went to Wyoming

I was moving towards summer during my sophomore year at college.  I was talking with a biology professor about sticking around to do summer lab research.  Simultaneously, I was looking into summer jobs at resorts in Michigan, Cape Cod, Yosemite, Yellowstone, everywhere.  Sidenote – I wish I had writing from back then, so I could go back and look at my thoughts, but instead I’ll have to rely on human memory.

I remember that winter break I was in Lawrence, Kansas with some of my college homies.  We were sitting in a coffee shop, and I noticed an email pop up in my inbox from Flagg Ranch.  They were offering me a job that summer, waiting tables in Wyoming. 

The next couple hours I was calling my brain trust, some of my friends from home, about the potential decision not to come home for the summer.  Really I just needed someone’s approval.  I’m needy like that.

One of them told me,

“Damn, such a Ken thing.  Always doing weird bold things out of nowhere.”  

The next day, with the approval of the brain trust, I took the job.

Flagg Ranch was located in the awkward inbetween space between the two Wyoming national parks, Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons.  It was geographically isolated since it wasn’t in the parks, but on top of that, it didn’t have ready access to the internet, nor did it have cell phone service.  Basically, you were only going to interact with the sixty or so people at the ranch, which was a weird experience in and of itself. 

I hope these next few posts will explain my story in Wyoming: the relationships I formed at this isolated ranch, the miles I covered by foot, and the mountains I climbed.  If nothing else, it will be valuable practice for me as I train to write books, and stories longer than 500 words.  Sidenote - I think my story about Wyoming will be one of my first books, which will eventually get re-published after I write a hit memoir about medicine, and people will be duped into buying it because I had one successful book.  Yes, this just happened to me and I’m bitter about it.  But anyways.

Overall, I can’t tell you what I wanted to get out of Wyoming, but I can tell you what I got from it: Wyoming was where I learned the answer to this question. 

“There will come a point in the race.  When you alone will need to decide.  You will need to make a decision.  Do you really want it?  You will need to decide.”

            - Paul Tergat, 2004 Olympic Marathon Gold

See you on the other side,

from ken

 

Feel free to comment! I would love to hear your thoughts.

Avoid Boring People

Avoid boring people. That’s the title of a book I read recently, a memoir by the Nobel Prize winner James Watson. He co-discovered the structure of DNA and birthed molecular biology as we know it. 

I wasn’t sure whether the title meant to avoid boring other people, or to avoid interacting with boring people. Either way, it’s a great title. The book itself is too long, and reads too much like a personal journal – too much material only he or people closely involved with his life would understand. It did have a couple good pieces of advice, and if nothing else it showcased him as a dick. As always, people who are successful, are dicks. Sidenote – nothing wrong with being a dick, I plan on being successful. I’m just saying. 

Anyways, something I’ve been worried about recently, is that I’m boring. Looking at my life – I wake up, take the bus to work, read some books, work in a lab where I’m not thrilled by my projects, take the bus home, hit the gym, write a little, and spend some time with my wife. 

And really, the most frustrating part is that I’m not doing a particularly excellent job at any of them. 

It’s not a terrible life, in fact, it’s pretty idyllic in a sense, and it’s definitely comfortable. I could probably ride cruise control like this for a long time. But at the same time, I’m struggling to find meaning in a lot of my life, and frankly it just feels boring. 

I’ve had this same feeling several times before, a classic emotion that typifies the modern 20’s. Not then nor now do I know what to do, other than to complain to anybody who will listen. 

A previous post on the topic

In Avoid Boring People, James Watson’s biggest piece of advice was: To avoid becoming boring, avoid being bored. 

One thing that comes to mind immediately – another book I read recently was called Walk on Water, which was an exposé into the world of pediatric cardiac surgery, one of the most demanding professions in the world. A quote from the book: 

“You cannot lie in this work. There are so many people in this world who have no idea who the fuck they are. When you do this work your entire body is charged with it.” 

The resounding point throughout the Walk on Water is that heart surgeons know that heart surgery matters. They take their work seriously, and they are obsessed with it. 

When you take anything so seriously as to push your absolute limits – mentally, physically, emotionally, it reveals the character deep inside of you. Recently, I haven’t been challenged to see that part of me, and confront my real identity. 

So pushing yourself, and finding a place in life where you really know who you are, and what you’re about, is necessary to feel engaged in life. And, of course, to not be boring. 

But anyways, I’m trying to figure out, how can I be less boring? I’d love to hear some thoughts from anyone who isn’t bored with their lives. 

See you on the other side, 

from ken 

Feel free to comment! I would love to hear your thoughts.

A Giant of Introspection - Herman Hesse Book Review

"It was never about the grapes or the lettuce, it was always about the people."

I’ve read two books by Herman Hesse (he wrote Siddhartha), Demian and Strange News from Another Star. Hesse’s main focus is on an individual’s search of self-knowledge and enlightenment. 

Demian is a pseudo-autobiography of Hesse’s youth as he learns how to understand his own unconsciousness. Hesse is initially lead into his unconscious by a classmate, Demian, who brings forth a counter-cultural understanding of the bible story of Cain and Abel. 

In this story, Cain and Abel are two brothers that work on a farm. Abel is much more successful, so Cain grows jealous and murders Abel. God punishes Cain by forcing him to be a lonely wanderer, and Cain walks around with a mark on his forehead for the rest of his life. Society’s understanding is that Cain is evil and Abel is a martyr. 

Demian suggests an alternate interpretation of this story. Cain’s mark was not an actual mark, but a personality trait that caused him to be exiled. People misunderstood Cain because he was so different, and automatically labeled him as evil. Sidenote - Isn’t it funny how quickly people label different = bad? 

Demian challenges society’s view that Cain was the bad guy, and further, that people should decide for themselves who is evil, what is the truth. After Hesse is exposed to such radical thoughts, he can’t take school or his parents seriously, and has to leave his home to discover the truths of the world for himself. Essentially, Demian is the story that follows. 

Cain represents Hesse's main focus, that certain individuals stand out as weird, and represent a different subset of humanity. Hesse and Demian are both such individuals, described as: 

“The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world.” 

Basically, Hesse believes only these hyper-introspective types are really alive. Sidenote - I've come to disagree with this, I’ve met plenty of excellent non-introspective people. That said, I’ve also chatted at length about these marked individuals, referring to them as being on the plane. 

I’ve been trying to understand the plane for a long time. 

I’ve read several authors on the plane, three off the top of my head: Herman Hesse, David Foster Wallace, and Bill Simmons. All of these authors share the common trait that they are involved in the intense pursuit of truth. 

I’ve also met several people on the plane, and the unique thing I’ve experienced is that it’s a pretty immediate and mutual understanding that we’re both on the plane. Conversations blossoms more smoothly, maybe based on the mutual recognition that we both empathize and share a strange life on the plane. Most recently, when I went to interview at Wash U med school, I met a professor with whom I had a heartfelt conversation about solving the great problems of mankind. 

From these books, and these people I’ve met, I’ve learned a little bit. In Hesse’s novel, Demian is clearly on the plane, and he helps Hesse on to the plane by instilling the confidence to believe in his inner voice, and to see the importance of introspection as a way to listen to the voice inside. So, part of it is about the confidence in believing in yourself. 

But there’s more than just being a deep thinker. It’s also about taking your own life, and the world way too seriously. It’s about feeling the weight of every single moment, and understanding the unbelievable significance of life. 

If you think you know what I’m talking about, please feel welcome to shed some light on my confusion.

See you on the other side. 

from ken  

Feel free to comment! I would love to hear your thoughts.

We might lose

It was winter 1998. The NBA conference finals had the five-time champion Chicago Bulls pitted against the underdog Indiana Pacers. Michael Jordan and his Bulls were in a bind, forced all the way to a game 7. 

In a tight must-win situation like this, what would you expect a coach to tell his team? 

“You’ll come through.” 

“If you play this game ten times, you might lose nine, but not this one.” 

Instead, the legendary zen Bulls coach, Phil Jackson, told his team: 

“We might lose.” 

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This past week I went for an interview at Washington University in St. Louis, one of the best medical schools in the country. I thought I was a pretty good applicant, but I wasn’t really expecting to be given a shot at such a prestigious school. Just by the numbers, I would land in the lower 10-20% of their entering class. Numbers aren’t everything, but it means something. 

The first day was a casual day for the nine of us being interviewed that day to meet students and see the facilities. While eating lunch, we chatted about where we were coming from, etc. Everyone else was from Harvard or the NIH or Penn, top cut institutions. I guess I should have known that these are the kids that come to interview at a top 5 med school, but I was still caught off guard. 

I came from a small school in Ohio, and since getting out of college, I’ve gotten used to the casual attitude of Portland. I guess in those five years, I forgot about all the eliteness, and it definitely threw me off. I spent a few hours after that being intimidated as we took a tour of the facilities – shiny and expensive. 

The second day was the real test, a lineup of seven or eight faculty interviews, including a 20 minute panel interview with thirteen faculty members. I didn’t do my best, but I walked away feeling like I tried my best. I had good conversations, made some friends, and communicated at least to a couple faculty members what I was about. There’s not much more to life than feeling like you’ve given it your best. 

But walking away that day, the realization on my head was that I might not be going to medical school next fall. I always thought since I was a good candidate I would get in somewhere, but I realized the pool of candidates is overflowing with qualified candidates. 

If you’ve tried to find a job in the past couple years, I’m sure you know all about this. 

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Phil Jackson showed some serious swagger to acknowledge that the Bulls, despite having an unmatched history, could still lose. Jackson didn't want a pity party, but he just wanted to lay down the simple straightforward reality. In sports, one team wins, and another team loses. And it is always important to know the reality. 

Nobody ever wants to talk about losing or making mistakes, but it doesn't have to be a negative part of the reality, and it should be ok to talk about it. 

Of course, the 1998 Chicago Bulls won the NBA championship. 

See you on the other side, 

from ken  

Feel free to comment! I would love to hear your thoughts.