Much like Ken, I graduated from a small liberal arts college about 5 months ago and now I'm living in a new city with a new job and a completely new life. Also like Ken, this year is dedicated to changing my life, or at least putting it on a path that will make me feel happy and fulfilled. This post, which I am very grateful to be writing, is about remembering that big change happens a little at a time.
Coming out of college I was thinking big, as that's pretty much what we are all taught to do. I was thinking about all the big changes I could make in my life to really shuffle things up and dig deep into my soul and figure out who I really am and what I really believe and what makes me feel flow. So I moved to Houston, Texas, pretty much out of the blue, because I knew that was a big change for a Massachusetts kid. I accepted a job here teaching middle school to underprivileged youth, because I thought that's where I would learn most about myself. I had no friends in the area, I had no long term plans, and I was blinded by this idea of 'Big Change'. Recently I signed up for the Austin Marathon, another one of my Big Change ideas. Although I ran XC with Ken in high school, he'll be the first to tell you that I wasn't a runner. I played Ultimate Frisbee in college, and the main reason I signed up for the Austin Marathon was because I was excited to provide some structure to my daily life and also because as far as I was concerned, this was the year of Big Changes.
What I failed to realize throughout all of this (or perhaps what I chose to ignore) is that it is often the smallest change that can have the most lasting impact on our character. It is also the smaller changes that are most difficult to make in our daily lives. At the risk of sounding cliche, a little change can make a big difference, and I lost site of that. When I recently sat down to reflect on my first 100 days away from home, I realized that for the most part I was the same person I had been during my senior year of college. Despite all of these Big Changes, the essential fabric of my being was 100% the same. I had been so caught up in all the Big Changes in my life that I forgot to take advantage of all the daily opportunities I have to make small changes. Those are the most difficult resolutions to keep, like remembering to call your parents at least once a week just because it makes them happy to hear from you, or being nice to a colleague or peer that is ostracized by others, or remembering to take the high road when you are feeling petty or bitter towards someone else. Those are the real opportunities for Big Change in your life that can change your character for the better.
Just two nights ago I faced a predicament with a girl that I like, and to keep a long story short, it was exactly like a situation I faced a year ago with a different girl. I handled the situation extremely poorly the first time. I was petty, selfish and blinded by emotions. This time around, unfortunately, I still handled it poorly. I was still petty, still selfish, but at least I was conscious of the fact that I was being unreasonable. For me, that is a small step, and some may wonder why I wasn't more mature. But, at least I'm moving in the right direction and perhaps next time I am faced with a similar situation I can handle it in the ideal way. For now, however, I have to be content with small change. I figure eventually, it will all add up.
Guest Writer: Amulya Iyer
Totally agree with that idea of small change. Doing a small thing everyday surprisingly builds up. One small thing that I think has really helped me is to throw myself into awkward situations and make small talk with people I slightly knew. I can see a small fraction of those relationships growing into something real.
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