Life in those years right after college, the most immediate thing I’ve noticed is: Shit. I can do whatever I want. My life road is wherever I want it to be.
Anyways, I was just drinking a beer, enjoying a contemplative moment listening to iTunes on shuffle, and “In the beginning” by K’naan came on. This was the song I titled my first post after. Hearing the song made me go back and read that post, which in turn reminded me of the goals I had in coming out to the west coast.
- love my life now
- and of course, pursue “sidenotes,” which I defined as those random interests you have in your life that you never take the time to pursue, to figure out the right roads for me
Thinking about these goals has made me realize something important about sidenotes.
“If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.”I came out here as a scientist to work in a cell biology lab, but when I hit a real struggle in my research, for a time, I thought I would throw it all away and pursue nursing or public health. Research can move so slow, and be so frustrating at times that I hate it. Some weeks, I randomly spent 50 60 hours in lab, with nothing to show at the end of it. I could have spent the week on my couch eating Lays and watching Glee and my week would have been equally as useful.
- Rene Descartes
But when it comes down to it, I love the prospect of taking courses like “Eukaryotic Molecular Biology,” reading about cell signaling molecules like Akt and TfR2, and racking my brain to think of the necessary experiments to complete a publication. It’s a love/hate relationship, but realizing this made me set on applying for a research oriented grad program.
I also came out here as a college cross country and track athlete, which basically meant, I was a gym junkie. In college, several times a week I was at the KAC (Kenyon Athletic Center) twice a day. Not only because I wanted to be more fit, but because it just made me feel at peace to exercise.
But when I moved out to Portland, working out seemed like a boring hobby and didn’t really mesh with the alternative culture out here. After running a marathon, I ditched running cold turkey, cut off my gym membership and tried out several hobbies ranging from cycling, yoga, hiking, photography, playing the harmonica, drawing, baking, and none of them fit the bill.
About a month ago, I ended up rejoining a gym, and I’m currently in the process of taking up working out as a stress-relieving hobby. I don’t run, but I still love hitting the gym. There is nothing in my life that brings me more internal peace than a quick semi-intense 30 minute workout.
I guess at its essence, the concept of sidenotes is to try new things and figure out what you like, but more importantly what you don’t. By both considering a life in research, and a life away from it, I’ve basically figured out the next ten years of my life - hopefully training to be a physician-scientist. And by trying out a barrage of random hobbies, I’ve been drawn back to a hobby I’ve had all along that will hopefully keep me sane through those ten years - working out.
When I came out to the PDX, I was starving for that missing piece of the puzzle that would complete my life. But I guess really, pursuing those sidenotes has just brought me back to what I lived and loved in college, and the road narrowed, a little.
from ken
Are you thinking about something? Write about it and post it here! Email me! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com
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