What do you do everyday?

I was sitting at church, zoning in and out, as I tend to in the mornings. One head bob jolted me back like a slap in the face, and they were talking about 90x prayer, an activity in which you pray 13 minutes a day to develop the discipline of prayer.

13 minutes broken up over the course of the day doesn’t seem that overwhelming or even that significant. But when you look at it over the course of a week, it quickly adds up to 90 minutes.

It got me thinking, man that’d be great to be like Martin Luther King Jr. who was once asked, “I heard you pray three times a day, but what do you do those days when you’re so busy?” To this, King replied, “Those days, I pray five times.”

On an unrelated note, one of my coworkers, Carl, a new dad, was telling me about his parenting struggles. He’s an incredibly hard worker, and he spends most of his time slaving away in the lab. Unfortunately, this means that there isn’t much time left to spend with his daughter. His daughter, Anna, spends most of his time with her mom, and she breaks out in a crying fit whenever her mom leaves the room, even when Carl is there. I’ve hardened myself to deal with failure, but I don’t know if I could swallow rejection like that.

Another one of our labmates, a veteran mom, interjected, ”Oh it’s just a phase, you just need to snap her out of it. Just go home everyday around four o clock for a couple hours and spend time with your daughter, then when she goes to sleep come back and work some more. It’ll take a while, but soon enough she’ll love you.”

The 90x prayer and fatherhood struggles reminded me of Amulya’s post on small change. It’s easy to make one or two glamorous decisions every once in a while. That doesn’t take that much work. But how come small change is so much more important to your true character?

I wrote about this thought a while back but it seems important so I’ll rehash it,

“There is no such thing as a courageous person, only acts of courage.”

If you pray once, it’s a nice heart-warming experience. If you pray every once in a while, other people will probably think you’re spiritual. But if you pray everyday, you become a person who prays. You are conscious of your surroundings, you are someone who cares about people around you, you are humble enough to ask for help. Prayer becomes a part of your identity.
There are no innately great dads. There are only dads that greet the sun every morning and sacrifice their own free time and well being to spend time with their kids to slowly but surely develop relationship.

And as I sat in the coffee shop drinking my decaf Americano, I got to thinking…

It’s hard work to pray everyday! Do my ideas have any idea how busy my schedule is? I just don’t have the time for it. I’ll make some other form of small change.

But maybe that’s why small change is so important. Because it gets right up in our face to challenge us, everyday.

If you made a couple big decisions in your life, like you moved to a brand new city. You might just be someone that other people think is a risk-taker, because other people will see you through the big stories in your life.

But if you take small risks everyday, risk losing control of your schedule to a discipline you might be trying to develop, or risk losing sleep for the sake of an important relationship, then, maybe, with time, those small decisions become ingrained in our habits, and become a part of our character.

from ken

Are you trying to change your life? I'd love to hear about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com

photo by Enid Yu

Why you should stop selling yourself short

When you look around, at you friends, your co-workers, your family, your neighbours, how do you size up?

Not in the sense of, how much do you make, who lives in a nicer neighbourhood, or who can run faster, but does anyone’s life make you think, I wish I was living their life?

I turn to the radical Malcolm X for his sharp insight:

“Anytime you find someone more successful than you are, especially when you’re both engaged in the same business – you know they’re doing something you’re not.”

I try to apply this thought to the “business” of life. If there’s any life out there that really makes you think, man their life is so much better than mine, then they’re probably doing something you’re not. When I realize that someone else’s life is better than mine, it’s easy for me to victimize myself, I tell myself they’re just better than I am: those guys have a sweet job because they’re smarter than me, that girl’s too cool for me, that guy was born to write.

The good news is, there’s an easy solution. Whatever you like in their life, you can just go out and get it. Of course, it’s easier said than done, a lot of patience is needed, and you’ll need to find the right people to help you. But still, the bottom line is the same, if you want a better life you can go out and get it.

I had a track coach in college who always preached never putting any other runner up on a pedestal. He was adamant that you could beat anyone you wanted if you were willing to fight, but the moment you convinced yourself that someone else was out of your league, it was game over.

I think there’s something wise to that. The news anchor Keith Olbermann had a similar thought:

“The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you, you’re not enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job, ask anyone out, pursue any goal. Don’t take it personally when they say no – they may not be smart enough to say yes.”

When we put other people on a pedestal I think we sell ourselves short. As long as you are bring true to yourself, you are great as who you are!

I think ultimately, one of the ideals of life is to be living in such a way that you wouldn’t want to be living anybody else’s life. That’s part being satisfied with yourself, but also part going out and getting what you want.

from ken

Are you trying to change your life? I'd love to hear about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com

photo by kevindooley