“Sometimes I sits and I thinks. And sometimes, I just sits.”
- Satchel Paige
- Satchel Paige
Another problem with the ambitious/motivated mentality is that it leads to a super fast paced lifestyle. It’s great because you feel productive and you get a lot done. I remember having tons of days when I ran from a class where I didn’t learn anything, to lab where I zoned out, to a meeting where I half paid attention, to practice where the highlight was showering with a bunch of other guys, to doing homework while zoning out, and finally back to my apartment to pass out. At the end of those days I felt super productive.
I think there are a couple traps I really fell for with that sort of obsession over productivity. One is, I would be obsessing over the act of being productive over whatever it was I was actually doing. I really loved feeling productive, but what did it really get me? Really, nothing, and I was doing a great job of losing track of the moment. All those days kind of just blend into a blur of work.
The other trap is that I failed to have quiet time to myself. I didn’t have that time in my day to just sit and reflect. One of my favorite times, is when I can just sit around, know I have no responsibilities, and listen to music. It’s pains me to have time like this, even when I actually have the time in my schedule for it. I always feel like I need to be doing this and that to improve myself, get more sleep, hang out with a friend I haven’t seen in a while, or whatever it is. I’ve been trying to go out of my way to give myself more “unproductive” time like this, when I try to zone out. It’s definitely a balance, when I have too much unproductive time, it drives me way more crazy than the other way around. Still, I know it really helps me to notice other options in life when I have that time to slow down a little. One thing that’s been helping me out is avoiding the productivity god of multi-tasking, so I try not to read at meals or listen to music during my commute, as a way to give myself some built in quiet time.
from ken
Are you trying to change your life? Tell me about it! ken.e.noguchi@gmail.com
I think that you are facing the dilemma, at the root of everything, of how to choose a balance you feel comfortable living with in terms of personal time, friends, ambitions. While it is great to have some alone time once in a while to reboot, for some, living is always being engaged in the society around them. Their sidenotes involve them running off to see their friend across the state or going out at night even if they arent in the mood. They know they will feel they have lived more at the end of the night by throwing yourself into society than out of it.
ReplyDeleteToo some, life is about relationships. Relationships not just with others but a personal relationship with oneself. The task of balancing both relationships is the adjustment to your life you seem to be seeking.
Really great insight, you definitely cleared up what I was going for. And yeah, I'm definitely trying my best to throw myself right into society, while striking a balance with a relationship with myself.
ReplyDelete