Over/Under Wednesdays - what counts as a date?

Last week's over under was about deep conversations. Specifically, it was about whether you have: 

a) too many 
b) just enough
c) not enough

Convincingly, the results spoke for themselves.

And here's some commentary from Abby Washispak and Natalie Vajta:

AW: When I first read this over/under I immediately thought that I’d like to have more deep conversations. I can’t remember the last time I even had such a conversation, one that didn’t revolve around school material or everyday necessities, like where we should sit during lunch. Which either means I really haven’t had a deep conversation in a long time or I’ve replaced that memory with something more immediate and pressing (i.e. school).

I enjoy deep conversation. I enjoy it far more than talking about school work, that just makes me nervous most of the time, and way more than small talk, because after about the third surface level question I just seem to run out of things to say. Deep conversation reminds me that there is way more going on in the world than the lectures I need to review. It reminds me that the people I see on a daily basis are really cool people, with crazy stories to tell, interesting views on life, and problems just as big, if not bigger than mine.

I guess the reason I don’t have more deep conversations, and I bet this is true for many others, is I simply don’t make time for them. Time is a precious commodity, especially for med students. If I had an extra hour in my day, sure I’d rather have a great conversation with someone, but let’s be honest, I’d probably use it to cram another anatomy lecture in my brain. I guess when it comes down to it I see the present situation as more important than talking about deep things.

But I wonder what would happen if we intentionally made time for deep conversations. Maybe we’d see the people around us as more than just familiar faces, lab partners, or patients. Maybe we’d think more deeply or for the first time about the meaning of our lives outside of our future careers. Or maybe we’d simply be reminded for a few moments that there is more going on in the world than school (and who couldn’t use more of that).

NV: Summer is so close we can hear the ocean calling our name. Wait, so if we have already made it through around 8 months of school together, is it too late to get to know each other? Are we destined to only talk about current events in our small med school bubble with each other?

I love getting to meet new people and even more than that, I love getting to genuinely know people- find out what makes them tick, what has made them who they are today and where they are headed. Towards the end of last semester I decided I was tired of just talking about school with my fellow classmates. So I tried to make an effort to talk about more than just school with people. Now school talk is an easy go-to conversation, in fact a lot of the times it just catches you out of nowhere and even if you didn’t consciously decide to talk about school, it creeps in to your conversation. But what is there to talk about outside of school?

Our first month or so of school, conversations were more focused on the standard “synopsis of your life” questions- where are you from? Where’d you go to school- oh do you know (list off people and find out you are connected to everyone by one or two degrees). When did you graduate? What did you do before medical school? Then a little more in depth may consist of- do you have any siblings? What does your significant other do? How did you two meet? Then, done. You officially know all there is to know. Well those are necessary questions but there are over 170 people in our class and all those facts start to get jumbled up.

But now here we are, summer on the horizon and yet how well do we really know our fellow classmates? Now I could continue to ramble about our class (its dynamics, everyone’s innate want to serve others and how awesome I think that is, how wonderful I think everyone is, etc) but let me save that for another time- to the actual Over Under of the week- do you have over or under a good amount of deep conversations? I think most everyone would say they don’t have that many deep conversations a week (honestly who has the time, right?) but I think in general, people are in need of more.

I believe we weren’t made to do life or medical school alone. I know it is possible to do both alone and that is some people’s paths and preference, however there are so many great things that come from having a deep conversation with a classmate. I (selfishly) use chances to have deep conversations with classmates as a break from studying, a chance to ask probing questions to get to know people better, and to check in on people and see how they are doing. Medical school is hard and tiring and incredible all at the same time- we have to focus so much on school and so little on ourselves. Conversation breaks and checking up on each other are great opportunities to get some perspective- the people that best understand what you are going through are your classmates. In those moments of feeling overwhelmed, realizing we aren’t doing this alone and we are doing this for a purpose, can bring great relief and peace. Our class is full of people that are going to make a difference in this world and are definitely worth taking study breaks to get to know, discuss how the world works and learn something non-school related. Each person has so much to bring to the table and there are some great, exciting conversations just waiting to be had.

Apologies for the rambling but thanks for reading and thanks to Ken for letting me guest blog. I’m not quiet sure if I actually even said anything or got a point across but come find me in the library and I am always down for a chat, just make it deep haha.


Thanks Abby and Natalie! Hope this leads to more deep conversations. 

--

Now for this week I have a poll instead:

How do you define a date?

This came out of multiple debates. For instance, my dissection partner and I were dissecting the other day by ourselves - having deep conversations about the meaning of life and whatnot, sharing our values and struggles. And I had to wonder.. here we were - two people, by ourselves, at a planned event (anatomy lab), getting into deep conversation. Was it romantic? I mean, we were standing pretty close to each other. Were we on a date?

Anyways, here are the options that I took from real life conversations:

a) Must be planned
b) Whenever two people are together
c) Must be romantic
d) Must be exclusive
e) Other, write-in

see you on the other side,

from ken

Want to provide commentary? Let me know.